


Just Being

by shadowsamurai



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-06-23
Packaged: 2017-11-08 09:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ivanova takes some time out to just be, and remember a certain someone who to her was the definition of just being.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Being

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Просто быть](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3722458) by [natoth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/natoth/pseuds/natoth)



> Takes place after S2, Ep 22, 'The Fall of the Night'. Slightly AU as Sheridan and Sinclair did, of course, meet and know each other.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

 

B5-B5-B5-B5-B5-B5

Ivanova took a deep breath, the calming sensation from simply sitting in the peaceful environment of the Zen Garden covering her skin and seeping through her pores. It had been a helluva week. Helluva month, come to think of it. Hell, it had been a helluva year. Ivanova shook her head. The same time twelve months ago she had been enjoying a meal with Garibaldi, Sinclair and Catherine, celebrating Sinclair and Catherine's engagement. She shook her head. It seemed like so long ago now. This year there was nothing to celebrate. The Centauri had grown out of simple playground bullying tactics and become giants stepping on ants, no matter who the 'ants' were. The existence of the Shadows was now public knowledge, thanks to Lieutenant Keffer, who died to get the proof to them. Nightwatch were growing in power, which Ivanova was certain that was not a good thing. And if not for the timely intervention of…well, of *something,* Sheridan would be a large smear on the floor by now. Ivanova sighed and shook her head ago. As odd as it sounded in her mind, she longed for the simplicity of the previous year.

Soft footfalls drew Ivanova from her reverie, but she hadn't the chance to turn her head before the visitor spoke.

"Good evening, Commander."

Ivanova nodded. "Captain. I didn't expect you to be back here so soon."

Sheridan walked into her peripheral view, his hands clasped behind his back. "It's always been peaceful to me, more so after the…well, the incident."

"Really?" Ivanova asked, surprised. Then she held a hand up. "Never mind. Forget I spoke." She shook her head. "That was a stupid thing to ask."

She had seen what rescued the Captain just like everyone else had, but Ivanova still couldn't put a name to it. She knew one day, she would find out exactly what it was, but what she had seen would never match with that knowledge.

"What about you, Commander? What are you doing here?" Sheridan asked, turning to face her. "Or would you rather be alone?"

"I…no. No, it's fine, Captain."

"Really?"

Ivanova looked at him and nodded. "Really." She moved up the bench to make room for him.

Sheridan smiled. "Thanks. Busy week."

"Busy year," Ivanova replied.

"Was last year quieter?" Sheridan asked.

"That's what I was just thinking about. I think it was…different. Busy, but in a different way," she said, staring into the distance at something Sheridan couldn't see.

"Something on your mind, Susan? Or someone?"

"He used to spend a lot of time here," Ivanova started suddenly. "I always feel closest to him here, and I'm not sure why."

Sheridan nodded. "Sinclair."

"Yes. It's strange, but even after all this time, I still miss him."

"You're bound to. You served with him for, what? Twelve months?" Sheridan asked.

"Just over."

"And from the sounds of things, you went through a lot, including the death of your father and the repeated incidents with Psi Corps," Sheridan replied. "You know as well as I do that over time, your colleagues turn into friends, and sometimes family. It's the nature of our job." He stared out over the garden. "You know, from what I've heard, I'd say that sometimes you're channelling Sinclair's spirit. You certainly come out with some un-Ivanova-ish phrases." He chuckled.

"I'll take that as a great compliment, Captain," Ivanova said sincerely. "Thank you."

"You know I never met Sinclair. What was he like?"

"As a commanding officer, person or friend?"

Sheridan laughed. "Whichever you want to answer."

"He was…." Ivanova paused and shrugged. "I don't know what else to say. He just…was."

"I do believe that is the first time you have ever been rendered speechless," Sheridan said in amazement, turning to look at her. "I think I'll have to make a note of this." Ivanova glared at him. "There's got to be something you can tell me."

"Commander Sinclair was a great mentor to me," Ivanova replied slowly. "He was a consummate diplomat, adept at solving almost any situation that arose without having to resort to violence."

"Shame he's not here now," Sheridan murmured quietly.

Ivanova shook her head. "I don't think even the Commander could have fixed this. Knowing him, though, he'd have probably died fighting. He wasn't averse to jumping into the thick of things, a little like you, and when strength was called for, he'd deliver in spades."

"I resent that remark, Commander. I do not 'jump into the thick of things'."

Ivanova looked at him. "How about next time one of those incidents - which don't happen, as you just pointed out - happens, I let you know?"

"You were saying about Sinclair?" Sheridan prompted.

"He was an excellent commanding officer, but he wouldn't have survived in this political climate," Ivanova continued. "I think the only reason he lasted so long was because of President Santiago."

Sheridan nodded in agreement. "Soon as Santiago dies, he's replaced with me because the current administration thinks I'm a 'jarhead', easily controlled."

"They may have thought that at the start, Captain, but I doubt they think so now." Ivanova looked at him seriously. "Be careful."

"I plan to be. Carry on."

"As a friend, Jeff was the best kind of friend you wanted. He was always caring and compassionate, and whenever you needed to lean on someone, he'd be there," Ivanova said. "He came to sit Shiva with me for my father, and protected me against the Psi Corps, just like you did. You know, I think it's this station because I'm starting to see a little more of him in you."

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment, Commander," Sheridan replied. "Thank you."

"As a person, he's an unknown quantity. There's always another side to him that appears without warning, but after you've seen it, you wonder why you didn't notice it before."

"A bit like the Minbari, or the Vorlons," Sheridan said.

Ivanova nodded. "Something like that." She shifted a little on the hard seat. "I think I come here because it's a calming place, and Jeff always gave out a calming presence, even when he was ready for killing someone."

"You admire him a lot, don't you," Sheridan stated.

"It's like with you, Captain, or Delenn, or even G'Kar. It's hard not to admire you all."

"Another compliment. I'm shocked."

"Don't worry, you won't get any more for a decade," Ivanova replied.

"Anything else on your mind?" Sheridan asked.

"You almost died, and yet you're…well, you're calm, dammit!"

Sheridan shrugged. "You're right, I almost died, but I didn't. No point dwelling on it."

"You know, you sound like the Minbari. And the Vorlons. And Jeffrey Sinclair," Ivanova said, putting more stress on each word until she'd finished speaking.

"What would you have me do, Susan?" Sheridan asked. "We've got a war going on, and even if I wanted to…fall apart for a while, I don't have the luxury of doing so."

"I know, sir, I know, it's just…it's a lot to take in, you know?" Ivanova replied. "Especially with Lieutenant Keffer as well."

Sheridan let out a breath and nodded. "I know. And now the Shadows know we know about them…." He shrugged. "'Hell' doesn't even start to cover where we're going."

"You know, I think Zeta Squadron is cursed," Ivanova said suddenly.

"Oh? What makes you think that?"

"When we got the new Starfuries, Homeguard tried to destroy them," Ivanova replied. "They rigged charges on all the bay doors so that when they opened, Zeta Wing would be destroyed and half the station with it. Then, when rescuing the Cortez, Galus was taken out by what we know to be a Shadow vessel. And now Keffer's gone as well. It just makes you think."

"It does indeed, Commander. Lieutenant Keffer was…." Sheridan barked a humourless laugh and spread his hands. "There you go. He just…was."

"Exactly. You come across these people in life, some mean a lot to you, others are just there, but they all have one thing in common: you can't quantify them to someone else." Ivanova glanced sideways at Sheridan. "Like Ambassador Delenn. How would you describe her?"

"Well, she's…she's…." Sheridan laughed again, this time a gentle sound, a smile spreading across his face. "Okay, Commander, I get it. But if you look at it another way, we're all like that. We're all just…are."

Ivanova looked at him fully. "Is that special John Sheridan speak?" she asked, amused.

Sheridan nodded firmly. "Abso-fraggin-lutely."

Ivanova smiled. "Thank you, Captain."

"For?"

She shrugged. "For just being."

FIN


End file.
